Elements: Parts-examples of ways to describe ourselves and others

Here are a few simple examples drawn from the descriptions above. Imagine for yourself the changes in communication that can be achieved with this simple technique.


Opposing and conflicting

  1. Part of me wants chicken, but another part wants fish for dinner.
  2. Part of me wanted to get up when the alarm rang, the other part of me wanted to go back to sleep.
  3. Part of me hates to be told what to do, the other part of me appreciates not having to learn everything for myself.


  1. A part of me was so mad, I wanted to throw something.
  2. A part of me throws up a little bit when I think of eating squid.
  3. A part of me gets so scared, I feel like I need to run away.

Differing thoughts

  1. A part of me thinks the weather is too cold to go outside, but the other part likes to walk in the snow.
  2. I have a part of me that knows this mom can be trusted, but I have another part that knows moms cannot be trusted.
  3. Part of me likes to learn things, but another part of me is afraid I cannot.

Differing intentions

  1. Part of me wants to go to the park, but another part of me is afraid it won’t be fun.
  2. Part of me wants to complete my sticker chart, but another part of me is afraid I cannot.
  3. Part of me wants to stop getting in trouble, but my hurt part keeps messing with me.

Differing emotions

  1. Part of me is happy thinking about the birthday party; part of me is afraid I will get in trouble.
  2. Part of me is excited about playing hockey; part of me is afraid I cannot.
  3. Part of me is sad about Grandma dying, but another part is glad she is not suffering.

Differing motivations

  1. Part of me wants to behave to go on the field trip, but there is also a part that’s just tired of getting in trouble.
  2. Mom does what she does because she wants to help me, but there is also a part of her that doesn’t like some of my behaviors.
  3. Part of me wants to make my sister happy and help her with her chores, but the other part of me wants to go play.

Differing beliefs (NIWM)

  1. Part of me believes I am a good parent, but another part believes I am not because my son is struggling.
  2. Part of me believes Faye and Jeff are right about trauma, but another part can’t give up the belief in 1,2,3, Magic.
  3. Part of me believes my son loves me, but another part believes he is out to get me.

Differing sensation

  1. Part of me feels full, but the other part still wants to eat.
  2. Part of me is exhausted, but another part doesn’t want to end the day and stop playing.
  3. Part of me enjoys playing with my younger children, but part of me is kind of bored with it.

Differing characteristics

  1. Part of me values my house cleaning above all else, but another part realizes it’s just a small part of being a mom.
  2. Part of me feels as if it’s a wife’s job to have dinner on the table every night at 5:30, but another part knows that with everything going on in our family, there are more important things to take care of.
  3. Part of me knows I need to work out more, but the other parts of me can’t seem to find the time.

© 2022, Jeff and Faye. All rights reserved.

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