Parenting traumatized children requires a different perspective:
It may not be what we expected....
When parents begin taking foster care classes, friends and family may say that the child "will thank them for what they are doing," 'love living in the family home," or "appreciate having siblings (or being an only child).” so many nice platitudes that end up conflicting with our experiences. Even naive professionals have told parents to “just love the child.”
In reality, we can’t expect or force a child to appreciate, enjoy, or love the new family. They lost their family, their genetic ties to history, the people who should love them. Then, we expect them to walk away without deep emotional distress? Research identifies that even if the child is abused and neglected, the longing to be with family is still present.
Invite the child to join you, don’t force, bribe, or shame, just invite him or her to share you life.
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